I hope all has been well and that you’ve been safe and healthy!
Lately I’ve been so occupied with a number of things in my personal life, that I’ve not had the chance to share with you some of the projects I’ve been up to. As I’m in a bit of a “cool down” period right now, I can finally have this chance!
I’m delighted to share with you all that my newest work, Zwischen den Butterblumenfeilen, is a contributing piece for the Dark to Light exhibition that will be on display in the Art Depot’s Spotlight Gallery from August 8th – September 19th in Abingdon, Virginia.
Benefiting the Ashleigh Langbein Project Foundation, the exhibition showcases the artworks of 21 artists across the US in response to Ashleigh Langbein’s poignant literature. For the show, I’ve selected this particular writing as I found myself immediately connected to it…
“Death and Grief”
“Dense Macabre Round-a-bout of skeletal fractions, Bones picked for sport. A festival of frantic actions, of the ephemeral type of sort. A shot taken- gone through the ribs, Albeit alcohol or a bullet, who knows? A feeble old man comes, and they call dibs, There massive numbers only grow. A prayer is made where one of them rests, The 1st prayer to him ever spoken. A mist appeared inside his chest, so he vanished now, unbroken. For years now, unbroken. For years now they’ve all been waiting, as the people they love grow older. They keep each other company-craving. For a name whispered on a sepulcher.”
The passing of my father was one of the most monumental experiences that shaped me into the artist I am today. Watching both of his cancer and alcoholism strip him of strength, awareness and mobility had all been instrumental in my understanding of what death and greif entail.
Naturally, the relatable sense of anguish, as transcribed so vividly in this poem, is what prompted me to demonstrate my connection. The subject of my work touches upon the complexities of loss and sorrow in addition to paying homage to all of those who’ve battled, and or continue to, suffer from cancer and alcoholism.
Zwischen den Butterblumenfeilen, 2020 graphite on paper, 11 x 17
Those of you who are in the VA area, I hope you all have the opportunity to view the outstanding artworks in response to the lovely poetry of Ashleigh Langbein. A huge thank you to Rayne Singree and Paula for putting together such a remarkable exhibition. To view the gallery’s website, please follow the link here: http://www.abingdonartsdepot.org
Below is a beautiful description that was written for the ALP open call:
“The Ashleigh Langbein Project was founded in 2017 by Paula and Russell Langbein in honor of their daughter to continue her legacy through acts of love and support. The ALP works to fund scholarships for students in Psychology and Theater at the post-secondary level through endowments established at Emory and Henry College, Ashleigh’s Alma Mater. With this exhibition, the foundation hopes to connect to Ashleigh’s words and story to a wider audience by asking artists to create a piece in response to a selection of her poetry. A prolific writer, Ashleigh’s poems talk about her struggles and victories, the light and dark. Thus, the title of the show: Dark to Light, inviting us to do what Ashleigh did for so many people she met- turn the darkness in this world into light.”
I’m extremely excited to relay that tomorrow, I graduate as a drawing major with a painting minor from the Lyme Academy College of Fine Arts. It’s been an incredible journey these past few years, and I wanted to celebrate by sharing with you what I’ve composed for my undergraduate thesis project.
*Just a quick note, my drawings depict the male and female unclothed form with heavy anatomical alterations. For any friends who have sensitivity to nude art or abstracted figures, I just wanted to let you know ahead of time so that way you don’t have to look through my works if undesired. *
So before I begin, I would like to introduce the greatest influence on me as not just artist, but for everything else in my life. This is my father Sal, who passed away from a rare form of cancer just over three years ago.
Salvatore Joseph Tasca jr.
Watching him suffer with such aggressive and painful symptoms, resulted in a pivotal turning point in my life that completely altered my perspective for the way that I view things.
Following his passing, I started inventing figures with muscle and joint alterations. By personifying the deterioration of what was happening to my father, these forms assumed themselves as channels for my frustrations in having to watch someone that I loved struggle.
The more that I explored the motif of anatomical distortion, the more I began to realize that these figures were actually speaking to me about something more. In a sense, they were becoming a body of unconscious self-portraiture.
Around this time last year, I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, which is a disorder characterized by heavy amounts of fatigue, brain fog and chronic joint and muscle pain.
Having learned this, coupled with the loss of my father, I started to grow extremely discouraged to the point where I started allowing it to impair me artistically.
So towards the end of the term, I decided to focus on an entirely different thought process altogether with. I felt that in doing so, It would enable me to better accept the events that were going in my life. Consequently, this led to my original concept for a senior project.
Something that Iโve always wanted in life was to find love. Building a deep connection with someone has always been one of the most important things to me, and after looking at the paintings of Michelle Doll, I was completely inspired to manifest this need of mine into a full body of work. Although, the more that I tried to keep going with it, the more that I felt an unexplained corruption to my confidence in my ability to keep moving forward with the concept.
There was something that was holding me back and I just honestly wasn’t sure what that was at the time.
So after putting up all of my works for my first open school critique, a vast majority suggested that I was actually doing the exact opposite of what was intended. Because of this, it conducted strong encouragements for me to work with my fragmented figures again.
By this point, I was so overwhelmed and frustrated, that for the complete purpose of appease, I scrapped the entire monthโs worth of investment to pursue these figures again when I just emotionally wasnโt ready to.
So I tried again…
During the process of starting over I was looking at the works of Albrecht Durer, Nathan Reidt and Zdzisลaw Beksiลski to pull inspiration from.
These were the first two pieces that I started for the project. I decided to approach them with an experimental attitude to further explore the abstracted forms of Beksinski, while applying the value structure of Nathan, that was than anchored by the calligraphic mark-making of durer.
Although I enjoyed the processes of working more experimentally I found myself more at home with a piece that I composed with a limited value range rather than one of stark contrast.
I approached this with the idea of dissolving the forms in and out of the spaces they were in; picking and choosing certain areas to be defined or not. Each figure was purely innovative, without being drawn from life or with photo references.
No matter how badly I wanted to hide it, I found this method of working spoke volumes to everything that I was trying to suppress in my life…
Sensations of fatigue and memory impairment….
Loss and immobility…
Or for how I perceive my own body to look….
At this point in the project, one of the faculty told me,
“Someone has got to love these bodiesโ.
This in particular stayed with me more than any other commentary I’d been given from the instructors. I brewed on their words for such a long period of time, well up until the end of the semester. So, I essentially did just that.
I started giving these bodies someone that could love them for all that they incompletely were.
By entwining these figures in states of embrace, I felt that they were beginning to transcend everything that I originally sought after.
For the first time, I saw that these figures were redefining intimacy for themselves. They were limited, yet encouraged and supported by their accenting partners. They were whole.
Truthfully, it was the most excited that I’d been about my project all year.
It finally felt as though everything was coming together for me.
Although, In early February just after completing this piece, I went through a very dark period that deteriorated many things for me. I lost entire faith in myself and felt completely undeserving of the things that I loved.
All of my artistic investments, passions and interests quickly became questionable to me, and the stresses of these feelings caused my health to decline.
Under this fact I had no energy, I wasnโt sleeping well and I was finding myself in a constant state of worry.
Thankfully, after a month of several doctorโs trips, I was able to get the proper care that I needed to get myself back on track.
Although I started feeling healthy enough to try and produced work again, I can’t say that something didnโt change. I realized that the void I was feeling over my original project was because I was unconsciously trying to build a world that wasnโt permissibly my reality.
This understanding hit me harder than I ever expected, and with it also came the realization that I was pushing these figures away because I didnโt want to accept that my father was gone and that they were also projections for how I see myself physically.
No matter how angry or upset it made me, I had to accept that I couldnโt hold back any more.
It was really than that I started realizing that it was ok to let myself to feel these things and to be patient with myself all the same.
If there is one thing I want my viewers to receive from my work, It would be for them look at illness with a different perspective.
My father taught me that there are some things left completely out of our control, but if we carry forward with every ounce of love and determination, we can find the strength to pull through, even it means taking a break when necessary.
In the words of Confucious, โ Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall. โ
The Roots Project
Rochelle Tasca
Artist Statement
Seen through the lenses of a dysmorphic perception of self, manifestations of sexual trauma, loss, violation, neglect, depression and chronic illness speak to one another with languages of flesh. Gentle caresses of graphite to paper breath life into fragmented forms of subtle anatomical manipulation that are obscured behind their own wet, matted and dirtied hair. Calligraphic mark-making trace the landscape of each figureโs skin to create a sense of sculptural three-dimension. While projecting an influence by the hands of Albrecht Durer, I utilize integrations of bodily elongation for my work to evoke conversations of empathy and compassion.
Each figure begins as a pencil sketch that gets refined and adjusted before the final idea is conceived. A series of these sketches grow to test different dynamic-fusion arrangements. They are then transferred onto a larger surface, with where more intimate line work and detail is applied. The figures are in a constant state of change from one another, developing to assume different identities of ailments.
Fall 2018 – Spring 2019โ Lyme Academy College of Fine Arts Undergraduate Thesis Project
It’s difficult to believe that just this past Friday, I was one of the many other featured artists for the Lyme Academy College of Fine Arts’ undergraduate thesis exhibition.
The opening reception was a moment that my fellow peers and I celebrated every sacrifice that it’s taken for us to reach this point. Every heartache, uncertainty, insecurity and fear brought us all to where we are now.
My heart is so full of love and gratitude to have met such extraordinarily thoughtful individuals. With open minds, each of them produced one thousand and one different forms of unique, self expression and I sincerely couldn’t be more proud.
It was remarkable to see such a body of diversity sectioned to adorn the campus walls of the Chauncey Stillman , Sill House and Foyer galleries. Each artist had their own artistic fingerprint, marking lengths of research and experimentation, yet most importantly being- self discoveries.
Watching these students grow into the tremendous artists that they are, has been an utter pleasure and great honor in every way possible.
In these last few weeks as a Lyme student, my heart continues to fall heavier at the fact that my systematic pattern of seeing these familiar faces each day, will soon be drawing to a final close.
These students, faculty and staff, have all made such a tremendous impact on my life. At this school, I’ve experienced some of the greatest, and equally as devastating, experiences that I’ve ever had to face thus far. No matter how difficult the obstacles were, support and encouragement was always there.
However, just two weeks before the start of the academic year, the board of governors from our partnered college, The University of New Haven, announced on August 13th 2018, that the Lyme Academy College of Fine Arts will cease to offer BFA degree and certificate programs, effective after the final academic year of May, 2019.
For years, the college struggled immensely following its initial accreditation in 1996. Difficult changes, sacrifices and decisions were (and had to have been) made by UNH in order to keep us financially afloat. Despite the announcement coming as such a shock to everyone, all that was permissibly in our power at that point was to keep our strength and to carry on with our artistic pursuits nonetheless.
Thankfully, my graduating class were able to remain unaffected by this drastic change. This coming May, we will all be able to receive our degrees side by side. I couldn’t have been more thankful for such a blessing to come into our lives. Given this opportunity to finish the traditionally based, classical education that I began with, will be a gift that I’ll always cherish.
I’m humbled to have seven of my thesis works currently exhibited in the main Foyer of the campus. Just as my peers had done, I poured all of my heart into this ‘little, big-body-of bodies’, and I couldn’t wait to mount the works onto the very same walls that my mentor and dear friend, Roland Becerra exhibited his paintings on for years.
This private, intimate space that the lobby gave my fellow exhibiting friends and I, what in a sense was perhaps destined to be, our very own “group show”. Deeply, I want to extend my appreciation to all five of my tremendous, encompassing “mini grouped” artists:
Left: Cheyenne Singree, Avery Williams, Roberta Scott. ( Not pictured: Daniel Criblez, Rosemarie Haughton )
To my incredible class of 2019, thank you for your courage, dedication, strength, open mindedness and patience. The genuine brilliance of your creative thinking is outstanding and It has been the greatest pleasure to have studied alongside you all. Although it hurts to dwell on the days we’re soon to part, I couldn’t have been more happy to call you my friends and classmates. I can’t wait to see where your talents will take you. Thank you for giving me a home in this little town of Old Lyme.
For more photos of our work from the show , have a look here:
“Do not wonder if my verses outstrip those of other poets, my heart is more afire with love and I am swift to do Love’s bidding.” – Ventadorn
Hi everyone,
Thank you so much for joining me on this extraordinary ride!
For quite some time now, I’ve been aching to find a space where I can share my experiences to people through art, writing and photography.
Just a bit of background on me, I’m a traditionally and classically trained representational artist living along the East Coast. This coming May of 2019, I’ll be graduating from the Lyme Academy College of Fine Arts, a college of the University of New Haven, and will be receiving a BFA in drawing.
Working in a highly narrative mindset, my portrait works in particular aim to transcend the subject’s physical features with the objective to expose an internal essence of them.
Here a few pieces I’ve made from earlier this year that I’ve felt to be particularly impactful on me. For me as the artist, conveying the story, above all, was the most important aspect to these works.
Heavy Rain, 6 x 7, graphite on paper, 2018
This little piece was a wonderful exploration of young woman named, Alexis. Her and I have a lovely history of going to the same middle school together and growing up in a small rural town in Connecticut called, Voluntown.
Alexis is a young photographer that I’ve had the pleasure of knowing for quite a while. Recently, she made a series of self portraits tenderly titled, “The Art of Illness” that I deeply connected with. Her work ultimetly led to the inspiration of capturing the honesty conveyed in her photographs.
It was a wonderful experience having the chance to explore the unique elements of her. This drawing was referenced by her final image to the series. An overcoming strength, despite forms of hardship, in her passage was written: ” I’m stranded. I’m vulnerable. I’m confused. I’m frustrated. I’m highly upset. “
Her photographs tell a story of self evolution, a rebirth, from wilt to full bloom. An overcoming from posions that flood our heads. These are emotions and thoughts that make us human. We are not weak to feel them. We are raw and we are honest. We are vulnerable so we may grow.
A huge thank you to Alexis for letting me use her wonderful self portrait for the drawing. You can see her incredible photography on Instagram at @lexthehiker
Transition, 11 x 22, graphite and charcoal on paper, 2018
This piece on the other hand, was an incredible challenge for me. By making this work, it meant having to be honest with myself as well as being forgiving while being aware of limitations that I have.
Self portraits had never come easily to me. I recall moments of frustration for every self portrait assignment my professors would give to me during my earlier years of study. As a scholar, I’ve always understood the importance of doing so, however there was always something holding me back from enjoying the learning processes.
When I first started this piece, I began with a certain set of objectives. During this period, my body underwent drastic changes very quickly. I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and Depression at the time, and for several months I hadn’t been adjusting well to it. Eating is actually a very difficult obstical with this disorder, alothough too little of that reality is discussed.
For most patients, obessity is very common. Because this disorder is characterized by mild to severe chronic pain, fatigue, low energy, brain fog, and memory imparement, patients often struggle to the find the strength enough to move around through out the day.
Admittedly, this terrified me immensley. Eating certain foods can cause “flare ups” or symptoms in my body to exacerbate. Bloating, cramping and just overall discomforts, have quickly grown to be an entity in my life.
I felt so vividly stuck and alone in my body to the point where I started lashing out in the worst ways. Its extremely difficult to open up about this, but I started to avoide eating, even for days at some points, simply because the fear of not being able to properly process food wouldn’t be there.
Every morning is a constant battle between questioning whether or not I should or shouldn’t eat this or that particular food item. I dropped down to a tiny weight, and with an aggressive encouragement of my doctor to seek therapy and really push my caloric intake, I finally had.
Having experienced therapy for the first time has been a scary yet surreal experience. As I’ve worked with my counselor, we’ve come to the conclusion that body dysmorphia is a high possibility for me. At the moment, I do have plans for professional evaluation. In alot of ways, my eyes were open to things I couldn’t see clearly.
It’s easy to fall into traps of a warped perception. Looking to Ma’ at, the Egyptian goddess of truth, order and harmony as inspiration for this work, I’ve realized the importance of an internal balance between what is limited and what can be done. As easily as sand, my perceptions will fall between my finger tips and I have to come to terms with it.
I want to express that no matter how difficult it can be at times, always remember you are beautiful, strong and most certainly valid. Never let the words of others dictate that truth. One may tell you that you are weak, mopey or sad all the time, but despite all of that, take the negative energy and stay strong through the criticisms. Allow yourself to feel and allow yourself to be the tremendously beautiful artwork that you are.
Thank you, again, so much for taking the time to look through these. It’s exciting to have this opportunity to share these connections with people to create a platform for others to feel safe and comfortable in.
I’ll be updated as much as I can with new writing, photographs and pieces to talk about very soon.
Until than, stay warm this coming holiday and cherish the time with your loved ones! Be sure to have a couple extra ginger bread cookies and egg nog too! ๐ช๐
RochelleTascaArt 